December 24, 2007

No Food has Carbs on Christmas!

It's only a matter of time until the Journal of Irreproducible Results publishes definitive proof of something we have all known: food eaten at Christmas and on New Years Eve contains no carbohydrates. This will be accompanied by a major long term study that shows that dieting during the holidays causes heart disease.

In fact, it's been a pretty good year for cheering dietary news. Peer reviewed research has confirmed that, for those of us getting on in age, being overweight is far healthier than being slim. There's evidence accumulating that eating saturated fat prevents stroke, and Gary Taubes has proven beyond doubt that the bad rap of sat fat stems from researchers a) confusing it with trans fat and b)blaming fat for the effects of the high carb side dishes people ate with their fats, and c) fudging their results.

Chocolate has made it into the ranks of health food. Soy has been shown to be the nasty poison it tastes like and someday it will be relegated to the ranks of other disgusting and worthless "health foods" like the blackstrap molasses and brewers yeast so beloved by health nuts in my youth.

So enjoy your holiday!

Food does have carbs the week after the holidays, and if you find yourself having a tough time getting back on track after the holidays are over, here's a page that has some tips that will help you get back into control: When You Crash Off Your Diet


Scott S said...

Hah! The Journal of Irreproducible Results, a journal without peer (or peer reviews!). Best wishes for a happy holiday and upcoming new year!

Jonah said...

Hey! I love Brewer's Yeast. It's an invaluable resource for a vegan weightlifter. And soy can taste good.

Anonymous said...

Hee! I like your logic. Happy Holidays!